Monday, April 19, 2010

and so they say it again and again

They say I am pathetic. They say I live in the past... I am sad for not moving on...for being so stupid.
They say I am pathetic.
But look at where I have been... Step in to my worn out shoes and tell me please as you lace up the lead filled laces if they are uncomfortable for you.
Tell me if as you trot down the paths filled with boulders and thorns if you think its really that pathetic to hold on to better times?
Yes I know to want what once was is wrong... and I see where I fault. I see where I am as you say, irrational. Where I am silly and dumb.
But its hard to move on from a story thats end was so unfinished... a story that was left with such loose ends.
I am trying my best in all that I do, and sometimes Its sucks when no one else see's that.

But here is the thing my dear friend... I don't care that you don't see where I have come from and how much better I am now. I don't care that you think I am pathetic and lost and a loser holding on to nothing...
I see myself as a survivor... who is human. Who occasionally messes up and makes mistakes But I am a survivor. I am strong. and I don't need your approval.
I know that I may disappoint but maybe you just don't understand me.
If you did, you would sit and listen to me cry, instead of pushing me away and causing more tears to fall.
Don't worry, I don;t blame you really... you just don't know me. No one does.

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