There is a fight that goes on within me.
I am afraid to let it be. If I hold it in for much longer what could it do? What will I become?
If I pretend that I feel nothing then maybe that is what I will be.
A shell of a human? A person without feelings... becuase feelings make no sense.
The hardest part of being sad is when people don't understand and you feel completely alone.
I hate feeling like I am no one. Trying my best to fit in. I want so badly to play the perfect part. Be the perfect person. But I am constantly falling short.
And I feel like I have no one to talk to. And I want to get a counselor. I want to fight but I have been made to feel that that path is weak. That I need to be stronger on my own.
So maybe I am having a hard day. or week. Or so.
I know there is a God. I know he loves me. Even if I can't see why all the time. I know he does.
We all have bad days. How do we fight another day? Just line upon line. Precept upon precept.
I know I am not alone. Even when I feel it.
I have faith in the Lord above.
but that doesn't take away the fact that I feel so emotionless.
I pray tomorrow will be different.
3 years ago