and I will be honest if you listen.

I am avoiding doing my paper that is due in 8 hours.

I wish you were here to distract me. Its been three days since we talked.
... you know I miss you.
I miss my best friend.

My roommate and I talked about expectations tonight. How we always expect everyone to disappoint us. Becuase everyone always will.
BUT if we go about always expecting the worse in people they will sense that and it will push them away.
I thought that was interesting. I am pretty sure that explains so many of my failed relationships. My doubts, my concerns... the fact that I am just waiting for the letdown, the heart break.
I never seemed to just let it go.

I wish I had.
But life cannot be lived in the past, or the wouldhaves and couldhaves that seem to plague our memories.
We can not allow ourselves to become haunted by thoughts of "if I only knew then..."
The past is the past for a reason. Its not coming back. There are no second chances, people never let you try again. As sad as that is.
All you can do is know for next time.
and smile.
smile that you learned and that life still has more to teach ya.
That is all a trial is right? Life and God teaching us.
Apparently I am pretty dumb ;)