Thursday, May 13, 2010

Stop what you cannot control

I spent my day at rock canyon elementary school where I hung out in kindergarten for 3 hours and fourth grade for 2 and a half.
I went on a teddy bear picnic and learned that who ever made that horrible song (you tube the teddy bears picnic to be clued in for this one folks)... obviously knew how to write one heck of a song. I came home immediately and sang it to my roommate who probably now thinks I am crazy... ( I am).
Also... kindergartners in utah are very much more advanced than my classmates and I were at their age. They are reading books.. some even chapter books. I was so impressed.
Music class though was a little interesting. The kids ran around singing to each other as they played certain games... AND for five year olds they all sang pretty good... especially the brave ones that had to sing solos at times.
Fourth graders are also a lot of fun. I have a special place in my heart for the 4th grade. I loved my teacher in 4th grade, Mrs. Jacobs. 

The lady I observed today was awesome. Her kids put on puppet shows which were so amazing and well done... and some kids sang queen which made me smile.
I then watched as she taught them about ART! YES ART! and real artists. They painted a flower today just like who class? and they raised their little hands and squealed as they answered "Okeefe!". yes very good class. Remember we learned about her in AUGUST! And they had paintings on the wall after Chagall and writing on the board said they had discussed Picasso. I was so impressed and pleased.
Yes... today was an awesome day and I can't wait to be a teacher.

I am so happy to have a goal in life. A direction.

I hate to admit it but it needs to be done... my thoughts always come back to you. and I feel so stuck, in a place I don't want to be, holding on to nothing but dreams and disillusioned memories that I made up to be something that they never were.
You live a life in which I do not exist and never will.
I don't understand why Its not that easy for me.
I try so hard.
Everyone thinks I want to feel like this.

I live for myself, and for God.
Everything is good.
I like where I am at.

...for the most part.

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